More New York Times mediocrity

So some of you may know that I no longer read the NY Times, after years of diligently plowing through the A section every single weekday (it was free in college). I remember being vaguely perturbed by the breathlessly credulous way in which the Times supported the Iraq war (I feel like I plagiarized that phrase from someone; apologies if i did), and most recently the papers' shameful portrayal of the Duke Lacrosse Case was even more directly sobering (see the AP's Aaron Beard for some real reporting).

Well, the NY Times has never been well-known for its sports coverage, but this gem from August is thigh-slappingly hilarious (from Slate):

"Charlie Weis has returned Notre Dame to relevancy. Just two years ago, as Notre Dame spiraled toward mediocrity under Ty Willingham, a shot at a national
title seemed improbable. But the schemes and the discipline Weis has installed have
revived past glories. The only question on the Irish offense comes on the line.
But considering the way Weis turned castoff linemen into solid starters with the
New England Patriots, that should not be a huge concern."— New York Times, Aug.
27, 2006

Two months after writing those immortal lines, Notre Dame is now 1-7, spectacularly bad. Nice prediction.

Why I love the View

I think Barbara Walters is secretly a genius. Let's review.

Star Jones. 'nuff said.
Rosie's Trump feuds and loud radical lesbo-feminist crassness.
Barry Manilow hating Elisabeth Haselbeck (yup, he's definitely gay)
Whoopi Goldberg saying Michael Vick should be excused because black culture doesn't care about dogs.
And now, Barbara Walters has finished the latest version of the view cast.....Sherri Shepherd.

It inspires speechlessness.

And then she tries to make me feel bad for daring to think such airy thoughts as 'why does the sun rise in the east but set in the west' while she slaves away providing for her children? That's rich.

This will make you laugh for days

Some guy got rejected by the Jockey Club when he asked to name is thoroughbred Nutzapper. Well, Slate is all over that, and according to them they rigorously review every name:

prospective names are screened by a team of censors, matched up against urban
slang dictionaries, and run through phonetics software to ensure they don't
sound different than they look

Sounds kinda like what states and provinces do when you apply for a vanity plate. Seems fairly straightforward. Well, it turns out the Jockey Club is HILARIOUSLY incompetent at this screening process. Some of the names that Slate turned up:

• Blow Me (1945)
• Get It On (both 1971 and 1986)
• On Your Knees (1977 and 2005)
• Spank It (1985)
• Go Down (1963) - whose sire was named Service
• Jail Bait (1947 and 1983)
• Barely Legal (1982 and 1989)
• Date More Minors (1998)

Are these guys even awake when they are approving these names? The list goes on.

• Cunning Stunt (1969)
• Golden Shower (1955)
• Cherry Pop (1961 and 1978)
• Cum Rocket (1969)
• Ménage Á Trois (1974)
• She's Easy (1978)
• Adultress (1979)
• Strip Teaser (1980)
• Rhythm Method (1982)
• Bodacious Tatas (1985)
• Tit'n Your Girdle (1988)
• Kinky Lingerie (1991)
• Hard Like a Rock (1995)
• Sexual Harassment (1997)
• X Rated Fantasy (1999)

OMG....and they rejected Nutzapper?

Psychoness

lol.
from FOUND magazine.

Good times, good times

FDA shuts down company for illegally marketing their product as a drug....nice

Well, this is exactly what it is designed to do, grats to the FDA. From here:

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued a Warning Letter to Brian Manookian, owner of Melanocorp, Inc. in Hendersonville, Tenn. for the illegal sale and marketing of the product Melanotan II, which is not FDA-approved, on Melanocorp's Web site.

The website www.melanocorp.com is currently a blank page. Luckily we have the internet wayback machine.

The FDA letter is here. A great read. Essentially, they got nailed for saying their product was a drug, but more than that, by saying it was a NEW drug. Looking through the archive above, you can see they claimed it worked when it was "not generally recognized as safe and effective for its labeled uses"(fda words, great phrase).
But the FDA letter is worth a read more because it is so harsh, and they clearly dont believe the company have any valid claims, and have any chance of recovering.

Within fifteen working days of receipt of this letter, please notify this office in writing of the specific steps you have taken to correct violations . Include an explanation of each step being taken to prevent the recurrence of violations, as well as copies of related documentation. If you cannot complete corrective action within fifteen working days, state the reason for the delay and the time within which you will complete the correction. If you no longer manufacture or market Melanotan II, your response should so indicate, including the reasons, and the date on which you ceased production.

That bold part is my favorite. they're saying, "If this letter caused you to shut down, let us know". The height of FDA bureaucratic arrogance, however, and frankly hilarious to me, is the very last paragraph in the letter, which I feel is kind of like "ok buddy, nice try. If you want to make a real drug, you can learn all about that online at this website or write to these kind folks and they'll answer your questions":

A description of the new drug approval process can be found on FDA's internet website at http://www.fda . ,gov/cder/rep-ulatory/anplications/default htm . Any questions you may have regarding this process should be directed to the Food and Drug Administration, Division of Drug Information (HFD-240), Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, 5600 Fishers Lane, Rockville, Maryland 20857 .

Favorite Seinfeld Moments

Part three

"The bus was out of control!"

Genius Kramer story, one of the best michael richards deliveries EVER.
My personal favorite moment, right at the end, is going to have to be:

Kramer -"....I kicked him [mugger] out the door at the next stop"
Jerry - "You kept making all the stops?"
Kramer - "Well...people kept ringing the bell!"

Bonus: germanic subtitles (indeterminate language)

Today's sign of a rosy future

Clearly, reports of the increasing crappiness of world airlines have been overblown (see all Indonesian airlines, all US airlines...etc.). From Nepal, comes this gem. And I am all for religious freedom, being a hybrid abrahaimic-atheist-agnostic-animist myself, but this seems to lead me to ask MORE questions about the company, not instill deep confidence:

Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft, the carrier said Tuesday.

What if Alitalia had a technical problem and then they trucked the pope around to all the planes in the hanger and had him bless each one? That would be funny.

My bro, one why mascarpone is delicious

after he put his finger in the tub it came in:

"whoa...man, it's like 'what is your density?'" - JR

another great quote of the day, related to my posting of Miss Teen South Carolina, from the Newshole:

"Even in the gritty, dark world of beauty paegants, it was one for the ages. Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina. Who long ago made the right choice. The contests with the tiaras. In lieu of, say, the national geography bee."

This guy has his whole material life online

It's amazing! And its catalogued by colour, size, material, use, usage amount, location, cost, and ownership. From perusing his life, its obvious he's a photographer (asides from the fact he took thousands of pretty good pictures) because he has about 14 of these:

plus gadgety stuff like this:Anyway, I'm guessing that this is him and his partner:

But I could definitely be wrong.

Anyway, its a bizarre scene, but I like it, I think its amazingly cool. When I found it earlier this afternoon I was blown away...my friend ER was far less impressed. She was appalled. Why do I like it?

Mainly because it represents the unadulterated freedom of the internet.

Maybe also because I'm an unabashed contrarian. Many people would and will recoil in horror at the very concept of having the whole of their worldly possessions cataloged in intimate detail for everyone to peruse. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do it, but that doesn't really hold me back from looking at the pictures in intimate detail. I mean, as I look at them, I try to puzzle out who this guy and his partner are, as human beings, but the more I try, the more I realize he's getting the last laugh.
Everyone is out there, right now, sifting through the material detritus of his life trying to understand him, or at least relate, or something. Their quest, and my quest, is ultimately futile. We can never even come close, with even this intimate a set of detailed miscellanea.

Pretty cool.

More on gay Craig

Well....I was pretty quick to the punch with this guy yesterday, I'm proud, the blogosphere has GONE NUTS over it. The most interesting piece, however, is from the Idaho Statesman. The gay Senator's hometown paper has been all over his queerness for some time now, apparently:

Over five months, the Statesman examined rumors about Craig dating to his college days and his 1982 pre-emptive denial that he had sex with underage congressional pages.

This was all apparently instigated by some blog-directed accusations last year about Craig's sexuality, which apparently followed some from 1982, when he pre-emptively denied accusations of being gay, and then no-one accused him anyway. Oh the humor in the hypocrisy! Anyway, the Statesman apparently also ran down some interesting tales regarding Mr. Craig, and even has juicy bits from the transcript right here.

Latest hilarity

Today's sign of the apocalypse

This is a true gem, brought to us today from Miss Teen South Carolina.

This is my single favorite segment "I believe that's because some people out there in our nation don't have maps, and I believe that our education...like such as in South Africa, the Iraq, and everywhere like, such as."

What? WTF!!!

Oh dear....my favorite part is "the Iraq"....even a dumb southern blonde doesnt know the fucking country is IRAQ. Even daddy swilling beer on the couch and watching NASCAR knows the war is in Iraq...not 'the Iraq.'

Hat Tip: DG

Jon Stewart goes off - and doesnt get many laughs

Brilliant, bittingly sarcastic, and I think a little angry summary of US foreign policy in the middle east...

My favorite line "Oh, billions of dollars, is there no dispute you can't settle?" In general his point is all too true, why exactly do we need someone with foreign policy experience screwing things up over the past 50 years? The knock on Obama is all the more unfair because the one important foreign policy decision on which he could weigh in (the Iraq war), he has been famously, and consistently, right.

OMG the nazis are funny

Check this one out. My favorite line: "Hans.....are we the baddies?"

Laugh starters

A classic from Tobias: